I'm not gonna cry.....

I don't want to talk today. I want to be left alone. I don't wanna cry - but it seems I have no control.

My birthday - day was fine. It started with Hannah bringing me a french vanilla extra extra coffee and a sausage, egg, cheese croissant from Dunkin Donuts. Yum! Then I had lunch with the girls at Tupelo. Cindy gave me a white watch that we've been wanting - it's the watch that Sandra Bullock wore in the movie The Blindside (only its a knockoff), Kim gave me this cute plaque thingy that says "friends are like stars. You don't always see them but you know they're there." (it's sitting on my night stand) and April bought my lunch. When I got back to work, Holly had brought in a bouquet of flowers....that began to drip with ants...and Blake gave me a $25 gift certificate to Applebee's. All that was lovely! When I got off work and headed to pick the girls up, it all went downhill. Mom had invited us over to her house for BLT sandwiches but I wanted to wait until I talked to Damion just in case he had other plans for me. The girls were fighting and I just wanted to scream!! Damion came home around 7 or so and by that time it was too late to go to mom and dad's. So, we had sandwiches and chef boyardee! Not that my birthday should be a big party - I realize as we get older that things don't have the same meaning as they used to. I was disappointed but I also know the stress and worry that Damion is going thru right now so no big deal. On Sunday, mom is taking me shopping for my birthday and on Monday I will have lunch with Vickie (Damion's mom). Today, I will meet Sarah, Riley & Emma-Leigh at Ianucci's for lunch and hopefully tonight Jen and I will go to Elaine's as we've planned. To be honest, I'm not feeling it. We need lots of prayers right now - I am not going to go into it right now because I am so sad and full of questions but just pray. And for those of you that read my blog and don't ever comment - you better start commenting because you're gonna get deleted! That sounds harsh but this is the place where I divulge my most intimate secrets and as much as I love you all, if you aren't a dedicated reader...goodbye!

It's my birthday!!

Today is my birthday...at 3:45pm I will officially be 33. WoW. It is also one of my best friend's bday - Jen Meder! So cool that we were both born on the same day.

So today, April, Cindy, Kim and I are headed to Tupelo Honey for lunch. Fun!

Pictures to follow...

It's monday...wow they roll around fast!

Let's rewind a few days...

Thursday night I had a Mary Kay party. We had a lot of fun. I was happy with the way it turned out - small group but it was perfect.

Here's a before and after...


I hate pictures of me but I must admit, the after looks SO much better than the before. Thanks Laura! :)

Friday night..what did we do? I can't even really think back that far...
oh yeah, my car was in the shop on Friday for a recall...Shawn picked me up in his new On Time truck...isn't it nice?


Then we all went to dinner at Cracker Barrel. Saturday EL and I had a lazy morning but eventually got ready and went to Damion's office to get some ant spray - the ants were raiding my kitchen! Damion said it was because of all the rain we have been having but I didn't care why they were there - I just wanted them out!! Of course when we got to the office they wanted lunch so Emma and I went to Target then to Arby's (she wanted curly fries) then to Subway for the guys (and me). After we ate, we met Sarah & her mom at the J Crew sidewalk sale. EL racked up on some stuff but I didn't really have a chance to dig for myself so I didn't get anything. Maybe next time...when I go without her ;) After we left J Crew, I was exhausted! So we went home and chilled out - did nothing for the rest of the day!

Sunday I had promised Emma that I would take her and Bethany to the pool. Only one problem - it was cloudy and rainy. So I decided to take them to the park.

And then we went to the movies to see Ramona & Beezus. It was such a cute movie!! I hate Madison missed it! After that the girls wanted to walk around Biltmore Park a little bit so we went to all the stores, spent some time at Barnes & Noble and O.P Taylor's...

At the last minute last night, Emma-Leigh decided she wanted to go spend the night at Bethany's house. So off she went!! I was thrilled! It is very rare that she wants to go anywhere to stay the night - when she's ready for bed, she's ready for bed and she prefers to sleep in her own bed. So it was really nice! I was able to get up and get myself ready and leave this morning. Hallelujah!!! haha

Well, it's back to North Carolina for Madison and the Whitson's...vacation is over!!

I have missed her so! Cheerleading camp starts for her tomorrow! Hope she has a good time!

Sugarland - Just Might (Make Me Believe)

Make sure you scroll down to the playlist to pause it or you'll have 2 songs going at a time. Listen/watch the video :)

No words are really even necessary today - this song is enough....but I'm never at a loss for words!

It's funny how I will hear a song on the radio on the way to work (usually after I drop the kids off) that just spells out everything in my mind. For one, $ is tough this week. Dr. Travis has been out of town and I got my last paycheck 21 days ago. I'm used to being paid every 14 days plus we had a birthday blow out for Emma-Leigh during that time. Damion is struggling with getting his customers to pay him. He has plenty of work (praise the Lord) and stays super busy but getting paid (On Time) has been difficult. When I hear songs like this, it makes me focus on the things that really matter. So what I can't go out to lunch today (and have to eat a turkey sandwich for the 3rd day in a row) my entire family is healthy, happy and there is more than enough love to go around. My husband loves me with every piece of his heart, which I still can't figure out and who says you can't live on love? We were able to go on a family vacation this year and our bills aren't late so why should I feel sorry for myself? Madison is in Florida right now and Sarah is taking Emma-Leigh to paint pottery downtown this afternoon. Basically this is a wake up call to me that things could be worse...a lot worse.

Last night we said goodbye to a dear friend -


and Emma-Leigh scooted away on her scooter (in her pajamas) like she didn't even care. I (of course) was teary-eyed.


Here's a sneak peek from Madison and Bayley's "photo shoot" in Florida done by Cindy's sister, Christy.


Aren't they beautiful?

Hot, summer days...

Summer time really doesn't have the same meaning for me as it used to. It's just a season - just temperature, weather. I still have to go to work. Summer time actually costs more for me than any other season. See, hardly anything in this world is free and my kids need constant entertainment. They are having a good time though - guess that is what it's all about! Today my lunch time was spent by the pool, watching Emma-Leigh and Riley swim (while wearing jean capris and a black shirt). It was very short but I did get to enjoy my lunch with them while sitting at a table under an umbrella. It was fun! Better than eating my turkey sandwich in the kitchen at work by myself. Here are a few pictures I took while I was there...


Madison is having a fun time in Florida. Cindy sent me a picture of them earlier. She said they were playing volleyball on the beach with her nephews. I bet they are having such a great time.

Aren't they cute?

I'm having a Mary Kay party on Thursday night. Not very many people are coming. Just mom, Vickie, Sarah, April and Hannah. I'm trying to talk Dawn into coming. Michelle is at the lake. Time is precious so I get why people don't want to attend things like this but it will be fun to just hang out and have some adult time for a change - even if it is a small group!

It's Monday..seems like it's always Monday. They come around so fast.

The weekend was pretty uneventful. A lazy weekend for us - which I guess is just what we needed.

Friday I went out to lunch with Andrea and her little boy, Garrett. He is such a cutey! It was fun meeting him (I didn't see him last time they were here) and catching up with Andrea. Here's a picture of him tasting a lemon for the first time.

Friday night Damion and I went to dinner at Grove Park with Cindy and Randy for their anniversary. Dinner was the seafood buffet and was pretty good. Afterwards we went down to Elaine's piano bar. I love that place! I could sit there and listen to them play and sing all night long. Here's a picture of Damion and I - it is a terrible picture - we both look like we have double chins, I guess the angle of the camera and the way we were sitting didn't help but we were having fun and I want to put this on here just so I can remember it (even if we do look fat and nasty).

It was a late night for us. We didn't make it back to Cindy's house (her mom was keeping the girls) until well after midnight. Madison was ready to come home, EL was fast asleep but I scooped her up and stuck her in the car anyway.

Saturday I was hoping to go to the pool. Madison slept until noon and did not want to go when she woke up. Emma-Leigh didn't at first but later on in the afternoon she decided she wanted to - it was just too late by then. So we didn't go. We did go to Target to get Madison a few things for her trip then I dropped her off at Cindy's - they were leaving for Florida early Sunday morning. EL and I met Shawn, April & Abigail at Chili's for dinner that night but then came home and crashed! After doing absolutely nothing all day, we were exhausted.

Sunday, EL had a birthday party to go too. This was for her friend, Grace, who she has known since preschool. They had a great time together!

We had a huge thunderstorm yesterday. Crazy thunder and lightening. I enjoyed it but I have to admit I was a little on edge. It was unlike anything I had ever seen - and I was driving in it.

So Madison is in the sunshine state and here I am at work - missing her like crazy. I hope she has lots of fun and stays safe. Emma-Leigh has Sarah & Riley all to herself this week since the other little boy Sarah keeps is on vacation. I'm sure she is having a ball!

The start of another year...for Miss Emma-Leigh

Well, another trip around the sun has begun for this little lady. I'm tearful just thinking about it. Let's see how much she's changed at this same time next year. . . Currently, she still is afraid of her own shadow. She follows me around everywhere I go. If she happens to be in a room alone (doesn't happen often) she will shout for me - just so she will know where I am. (In my mind I'm thinking - hello? our house is tiny! where else would I be? But then I am quickly reminded that it won't be like this for long. I need to enjoy it while I can.) She loves to snuggle. Absolutley loves it when either Damion or I sleeps with her. It is usually Damion that does, I need my alarm clock and he can sleep anywhere. He loves it though. It's his way of spending more time with her (and sometimes Madison too) since he's always working. She still sleeps with her blankies. The same blankets that we've had since before she was born. They are microfleece - yellow. I love those things! It is amazing how much comfort something like that can bring. She doesn't take them everywhere with her but I have found that if I bring them along, just the thought that they are in the car is enough for her. She and Madison fight like crazy but this past week or two they have been getting along great. Every evening they play together - it is amazing and I love to see them in action. They are 2 creative little people, that is for sure. Some of EL's favorite foods are chicken legs, pizza, crazy bread, corn (on the cob only), any kind of chocolate, peanuts, and she loves to have apple juice first thing in the morning. Riley has got to be Emma-Leigh's biggest fan. She adores "mimi" and they have so much fun together! EL has a "boyfriend" named Ethan who actually called her last night and sang Happy Birthday on the answering machine. It was the sweetest thing I have ever heard and she absolutely loved it! Emma-Leigh is such a fun girl. Full of energy and spontaneity. You just never know what she's gonna do. She can also be a handful - especially when it comes to her temper. She's got a bit of a short fuse and if she is hot - watch out! I have found that when she freaks out like that, all she needs is a hug. That usually calms her down but usually when she's acting all crazy the last thing I want to do is hug her. haha. Our world wouldn't be the same without her. I can't believe she's already 8.