what the heck?

I sign in to blog and everything has changed. I don't even know what I'm doing, where to go.... makes perfect sense, actually. Why when I'm feeling ~ blah, do I turn to my blog? It's been over a month. Guess if you're only ~ blah once a month you're doing good. My blog doesn't talk back, doesn't give me advice, doesn't argue, fuss or fight. Maybe that's why....I don't even know if this will post. I'm so confused. I haven't had my synthroid in 5 days. 5 days. And my throat hurts, I'm tired and I could cry at any moment. I keep forgetting to go get it. The pharmacy closes at 7pm. With all the running around I do after work, by the time I do remember, it's after 7 o'clock. I have to get it today. and coffee at Starbucks while I'm there. I found 2 4leaf clovers today. Lot of good that did. They never bring me good luck though...maybe they just keep the bad luck away. I have lots of pictures to share but from the looks of this new layout, that may not happen any time soon. I hate change. I hate trying to figure stuff out. Especially on my own. On a brighter note, Prince Abbey will be here in less than 3 weeks..there's something to look forward to!

Spring!

It's been a long time...I just can't find enough time in my day to get everything done; and you all know how I feel about this blog...so overwhelming. So here's some pictures! Enjoy :) One night EL's girl scout troop painted ceiling tiles at Glen Arden. They turned out great! Most of the time, when I walk into Madison's room - this is what I see...I NEVER get tired of their laughter! Madison spent Spring Break in Florida with Bayley while I stayed behind to work :( Riley and Reagan came over to dye eggs with us this year....no pictures of Reagan, she was way too busy playing with the dogs. Sunday evening we went over to mom and dad's for dinner and the girls had an Easter egg hunt...here's our attempt at a picture of the 3 of them. Not so great. An update on the home front: Damion's schedule has changed to where he works 8am-8pm, rotating days, being off every other weekend. That can be a good (and bad) thing. We still aren't used to spending a whole lot of time together, LoL. He continues to go to the doctor for various things. Just yesterday he went to Blue Ridge Bone & Joint for his hands. He's been having a numbing sensation through both of them and is unable to grip or make a fist. I think his body is just worn out. They ended up giving him a shot in both wrists of Cortizone, some Celebrex and a brace to wear on each hand...we'll see how that goes. Tomorrow he goes for a colonoscopy and endoscopy... We found out just the other day that cheerleading tryouts for TCR are the week of May 1st. Madison is terrified. I am already stressing over it. I don't want her to make Varsity, she of course wants to make Varsity but doesn't think she will. Her theory is that there are only 3 spots available on the Varsity team - 2 base slots, 1 flyer slot. She is quite certain Bayley will get one of the base slots and Montana (her co-captain) will receive the flyer slot. I would prefer she and Bayley not get split up and they both just try out for the JV team. Madison thinks I'm holding them back by settling for JV. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut from here on out, I just hope it all works out. I'm gonna try to load a video of Madison driving for the first time. Dawn and Cameron were the brave passengers...hopefully it will download.

Monday morning blues

I'm cold, hungry, tired, kinda grumpy and even though it's Monday, we're kinda slow here at work. If I close my eyes for just one second, I think I might fall asleep. I don't really have much to blog about, I'm just bored and wanna do something other than fix rejected claims. I'd like some coffee..but that ain't happenin' so - let's see...I think I'm at that point again where I want to blog but I don't want anybody to read it, LoL. What's the point of that, I know. And if I do like Serenity said and changed some names, every one would know who I'm thinking about anyway so that wouldn't really work for me. Not that I'm talking "about" people. That's not what I mean. It's just funny how one's actions can effect my mood...I have a terrible headache and can't think straight. I was up too late last night, didn't sleep very good and my alarm went off way too early. Our weekend was good though. Didn't do a whole lot but Brett, Sarah and the girls came over yesterday afternoon and that was fun. Sarah and I did a little coupon shopping and then we fixed crab legs, mashed potatoes and broccoli for dinner. They were SO good! Damion worked until 11:30 last night so he didn't get to partake of the wonderful meal. I had fun! Sadly, no pictures. I think I'm gonna go look for some Tylenol, I can barely keep my eyes open my head hurts so bad. Hopefully this day will get better....

Private posting

Have you ever wanted to blog about something...but not want others to read it? Guess that's not the point of blogging, huh? That's the way I've been feeling lately. So instead, how 'bout I catch you up thru pictures? sounds good.

ok, so...Valentine's Day dance at Glen Arden. Damion took EL. She was SO excited!


After the dance, Maddy spent the night with Emma-Leigh. They came to pick me up and we went to Moe's for dinner. I had this hope that I would be doing something enjoyable while they were at the dance...yeah, um...didn't happen. I went to the grocery store. Yay me.


We had Madison's cheerleading dinner at some point over the last couple weeks. It was at French Fryz. Here she is with her award for being Captain.


This past Saturday, EL's girl scout troop had a cookie booth set up at Lowe's. She really enjoyed it.


Princess Madison has been grounded for the last 6 days. Damion wanted to do something with them on Valentine's Day and it turned in to a disaster. She wanted to go to the movies instead of hanging out with us, and we were gonna let her go to the movies, just not by herself. As it turned out, Bayley couldn't go. So Madison was stuck hanging out with us. We should've left her at home. She was miserable and made the rest of us miserable. Needless to say, her disrespectful attitude earned her a ticket to nowhere for the next 2 weeks, AND she has to ride the bus to mom and dad's everyday. She's so happy. So on Friday night, she slept. Saturday she slept late and decided she didn't need to take a shower. She was pleasant. She watched tv in the living room instead of staying locked up in her own room. Sunday she did crafty things all day and really enjoyed being at home, even if she'd never admit it. It sucks to be grounded, but hopefully she has learned something.

Two days in a row

but sometimes I just need to get it all out. Everybody's got something, right? I'm too emotional. I cry for no reason. No, I don't. I have reasons why I cry, those reasons just might seem miniscule to other people. I cry mainly when I'm hurt or mad. Crying makes me feel better. I look like a giant mess when I'm finished, but I feel better. Sometimes when I cry - wait. let's call it de-stress, crying makes me sound like a baby; ok so sometimes when I de-stress, I may not finish all at one time. I might be able to suck it up and then later when the least little thing bothers me, it'll hit me again. That's what's happening. Don't worry, no one's dying or anything traumatic. But it doesn't have to be something huge to set me off and if someone cries in front of me, FORGET IT. It's over. Break out the tissue box. It's my stress reliever. Some people choose to go to the gym, I choose to cry. Some people choose to eat a lot, I choose to cry. Some people choose to sleep, I choose to cry. Get my point? Of course, if I'm hurt, it's gonna take a lot more than crying to help me get over it - but it's a start.

Last day of the month...

and I should be sending people to collections. But I've got so many things running thru my head, I think it's best I take a little time and get some of them out.

So the holidays are over and they were great. Damion spoiled the 3 of us with iPhones and they hardly ever leave our sides. Tiff, Todd and the girls came down 2 days after Christmas and all us girls went shopping in Pigeon Forge one day. I was so excited about going, only to be let down after not really finding anything. Looking back, we probably should have just stayed in town and shopped at the mall but hey, it was fun nonetheless.

I have absolutely 0 pictures to share :( I did not get a new camera for Christmas. Yeah, yeah, I know. I have a great camera on my phone. I just don't ever think to take pictures with my phone for some reason.

Tiff is having a boy! YAY! Finally! I KNEW it. She's so moody, LoL. Not towards me, necessarily. It's kinda funny, actually. But this pregnancy has been much different than the ones with Jaidyn or Ayla so I knew something was up. I'm excited! Can't wait for him to get here in June :)

So Damion still works a lot, that hasn't changed. Some things that have changed? We're on a budget. UGH. More like tracking our spending for the month. I don't like it. He no longer builds houses in his mind to fall asleep, he just takes more Tylenol PM. Currently, he is battling a terrible toothache and needs a root canal. Dentists are expensive. He's still working 6 days a week, sometimes 7 although he was off this past Sunday and just "rested" all day, while nursing his toothache.

The girls are still keeping us busy, that will never change. Cheerleading is over for the year. Kinda sad. No more middle school games - moving on to high school...heavy sigh. She really wants to make Varsity, which I know will be an honor for her but I don't want her to. I just don't think she'll be ready as a freshman, to hang with seniors. We will see. Emma-Leigh has signed up for Chorus which starts next week and she is also doing Girl Scouts. It's always something.

Madison & Bayley are starting to get more into the boys here recently. And oh, the drama! Madison thinks I'm oblivious but I know exactly what is going on. I am SO glad those days are over for me.

I feel like there is so much I'm leaving out - the sad thing is, time is going by way too fast and I sometimes feel like we are too busy to enjoy it. 14 and 9. Unbelievable.

9 days until Christmas

and there's SO MUCH to be done.

Sometimes, I just wanna be left alone. I don't want to talk to anyone, do anything, go anywhere. I just wanna be. I usually get like that when I'm sad, disappointed, tired. As I get older, I've realized that it's harder to make friends, nevermind try to keep them. The trying part is the part I suck at. I just don't have enough time and I can't MAKE time, it's impossible.

So I guess it's official that On Time is over. Court was Wednesday. Such a weird experience. SO many people there filing bankruptcy. Since we were a corporation, we were last for the morning session so we witnessed everyone else's junk. There is no confidentiality to it at all. I'm just so used to everything being HIPAA compliant that I was shocked at how open everything was. Glad it's "over". Not technically over until February 16...let's hope everything goes as it should.

Here's my review in pictures -

Emma-Leigh had a performance at school last week. Not a Christmas performance, mainly just about North Carolina. In this picture, they are singing Carolina in my Mind and aren't actually singing, but doing sign language. This was a surprise to me only because she had been singing it around the house FOR DAYS ON END. We even had a cd of it in the car. The significance of the sign language was actually because she has a friend in her class that is deaf. So seeing them sign the song, and Natalia looking all around her watching her classmates sign with her was actually kinda heartwrenching. I loved it!


Last Friday night was the Santa/snack/craft thing at dad's work. Raflatac does such a good job with it, it's actually pretty impressive. All the kids get snacks, do crafts and then wait their turn to see Santa. Afterwards, they get to pick a gift. The gifts are great. Emma-Leigh chose a Barbie, Riley a Rapunzel barbie and Reagan a glow worm. Madison was too old for this and went out to dinner with Bayley instead....


Damion has been working A LOT at Nypro. I am not complaining. I am used to this so it doesn't bother me at all. I like the 40 hours of overtime he recieves on his check, especially this time of year. It's just kind of funny though that he's working just as much. Just goes to show you that he really is a workaholic.

We had dinner at mom and dad's twice this week. One night I got to see this sweet little thing in her ballet outfit. I love this child.